I was pretty much aware that women are suffering from depression more than men but I never actually thought that the difference is so huge. Two to one. Exactly, women suffer from depression twice more often than men do. Women do try to commit a suicide more often as well, how ever, in this case they are not the best. Men to it not that often as women do, but much more efficient.
I have stumbled upon lots of different theories on this case but non of them are fully convincing. I’ll try to go fast through the main ones Martin E. P. Seligman briefly mentioned in his book ‘How to change your mind and your life’. So here are the main theories why women suffer from depression more than men do:
1. Women tend to have worse jobs and less money than men do and that is why they suffer from depression more. This theory is FALSE. As research among groups of men and women of the same job positions and income showed rich and powerful women still suffer from depression twice more than the men do.
2. Women suffer from depression more because of the genetic difference. That is FALSE. Science did come to the conclusion that there is a gene which is passed from generation to generation and contributes to depression but there is no evidence that this gene contributes to depression in women more than in men.
3. There are more conflicting demands on women than on men in modern life. This one seems to be the most fashionable argument is that is the one about a role conflict. Women suddenly has to take care of everything: family, children, house. It is not that she only needs to cook and clean. She also needs to have a job and to bring income home. So women are kinda taking the roles of both genders. She is not making the cave nice and cozy, but she is also bringing the mammoth home for dinner. However, this theory appears to be FALSE as well. As research show – working wives are less depressed than the ones occupied only with a household.
And there ca be lots and lots of theories mentioned but all of them at the end dash against the wall. Same as Seligman, I do agree that everything depends basically on the fact that men and women are simply different from the psychological point of view. And the way are psychology is constructed influences whether we come to the point where we face depression or not.
There is a very simple difference the way men and women react to things. Imagine you just finished a long lasting relationship. Let’s say it simply didn’t work out, you both got hurt and you both are unhappy. But to be apart is the only way to get of the current situation. So this is one of these cases than it is simply ‘not meant to be’. What does a man do in this case? A man probably starts working more, goes to do weight lifting for 5 hours, gets into a fight or simply goes and gets drunk. What does a woman do in this case? She calls her friends and for hours talks and analyzes and blames and moans, or closes herself at home and than talks to herself, and analyzes and blames and moans, or goes to her mother and talks, and analyzes…. So do you see a difference? Men simply don’t focus on their feelings, they let it pass by getting distracted by something else. They keep their minds away from all the negative thoughts. And women? They just don’t go over it like that, they analyze their feelings, they repeat all the negative emotions in their mind over and over again.
This can be illustrated by the same example Selingman used i his book. In a laboratory study men and women were offered to choose one of the two tasks to do than they were sad. One task was to choose the words which best described their mood, and the second one was to rank the nations according to their wealth. 70% of the women chose to rather focus on their mood than to get distracted than with the men these numbers were opposite. Men preferred to rank the nations and stop focusing on their negative feelings until they go away.
The best quote I could think of that would illustrate all this blog entry is made by Loius C.K. a brilliant stand up comedian (watch it on youtube, the one called Boys vs Girls). So what he said in one stand up show was summarized to one brilliant sentence : “A man will steal your car, burn your house down or beat the shit out of you. But a women will ruin your life”
